she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
