You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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