i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh god it's open bar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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