That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
