he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you had me at cake vodka
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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