batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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