I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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