Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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