The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
