i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
