Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
