He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
