happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
