i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize