You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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