i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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