I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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