I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
