I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
