OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
did i just pee glitter
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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