He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
