im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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