Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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