i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize