Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
