I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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