they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
