I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
