i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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