Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
