SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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