Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
