Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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