then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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