And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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