i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
