No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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