I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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