he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
