im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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