yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Couch. On fire.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
