why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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