Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
