Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
