i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
