Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
