Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize