afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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