But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
