Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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