On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
