I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize