RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
third nipple confirmed
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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