whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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