I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
