I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
