Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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