I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize