i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
